Touch Starved Read online

  Touch Starved

  By Samantha Lau

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  TOUCH STARVED

  First edition. January 6, 2015.

  Copyright © 2015 Samantha Lau.

  ISBN: 978-1393888475

  Written by Samantha Lau.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

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  About the Author

  1

  Sales Manager Rajnish Nayar drummed his fingers on the surface of his desk; he had twenty minutes before his shift ended. His light brown eyes were fixed on the reports before him, but they were unfocused, mind reeling with other matters. Today Rajnish was turning forty-three years old, and he realized he had absolutely nothing to look forward to. Long divorced, recently moved into New York, and with his only child away at college, he had no one to go home to; no lover awaited him, his friends were all back in India. He was, to put it simply, alone.

  It was not precisely the way he’d wanted to spend his birthday, but little had gone the way he wanted in his life. Why should his birthday be any different?

  Deciding rather abruptly that he could afford leaving a few minutes earlier given the occasion, Rajnish sprang from his seat and snatched his jacket from the backrest. He headed purposefully for the door and stormed outside, shrugging on the jacket while heading for his company-provided car. A few minutes later, Rajnish found himself driving a little aimlessly, but in the general direction of his home. He’d already decided he didn’t want to go back there just to be alone, the mere thought of going to that empty place made him feel tired and old.

  Driving through busy streets, Rajnish spared glances to the businesses that were still open. He played idly with the radio, settling for a trendy station that played popular music; it wasn’t his favorite, but there was little else worth listen to. Perhaps he could stop by a bar for a couple of drinks... He felt he was a little too conservative to dare enter a night club, where undoubtedly he would feel even older, and perhaps, overdressed.

  “Damn it,” he grumbled to himself, his tone carrying a thick Hindi accent “There’s still many years to you, Rajnish.”

  Perhaps that was true, but you were only as old as you felt, and Rajnish, pushed at an early age by his family into getting married and having children, was feeling very old at the moment. It was ultimately this feeling which brought him to the conclusion that stopping at a bar for a few drinks might be quite a good idea; but it was what happened immediately after he’d made the choice what convinced him that drinking your pains away was, in fact, not that good of a thought after all, for as Rajnish was driving down the street, a tall blond man stumbled right in front of his car.

  Wheels screeched across the pavement.

  Rajnish blinked, fairly sure he’d lost consciousness there for a moment. It certainly couldn’t have been very long, for as he dazedly looked about himself he saw people were only now starting to react to what had happened. What had happened? The pain of a seatbelt burn reminded him of his sudden stop. He shuffled as quickly as he could manage to unbuckle it, and hurried out of the car, fearing the worse as he approached the front. There, the blond man was awkwardly trying to make it back on his feet. He reeked of alcohol and by the looks of it was already quite drunk. Rajnish hurried to help him at the time he reached for his cell phone, meaning to call an ambulance.

  “Are you alright?”

  The blond man squinted up at him, but lifting his head made him lose his already precarious balance and he fell back on his ass.

  “Sir?” Rajnish asked, “Sir, are you hurt? I’m calling an ambulance.”

  The blond man lifted a hand to grasp Rajnish’s dialing arm “No no... no, really... ‘m dandy! Dun call, eh? ‘mjusss fine.”

  The man did not look fine – apparently unharmed, perhaps, but most certainly far from fine. Rajnish hesitated, but at a tug from the drunkard’s hand he stopped dialing.

  “At least let me drive you to the hospital, please.” Rajnish said.

  The man squinted up at him, it was hard for him to piece thoughts together, but the dark skinned man that had nearly ran over him didn’t look like the type that would give up that easily. “Mkay,” the blond finally slurred.

  Somewhat relieved, Rajnish helped the man up and to the passenger seat, trying to ignore the curious looks of the passersby. He promptly took the driver’s seat and made sure his passenger was buckled up as well before he started towards the nearest hospital. The last thing he needed now was another car accident.

  ***

  Despite a wait of half an hour before someone deigned check on them, the hospital visit was relatively short. To Rajnish’s utter relief, the drunk man –Stephen, as he’d slurred out when asked- had only a few scrapes and bruises from his fall, his car had barely bumped him and that was all it had taken in his state for poor drunk Stephen to submit his body to gravity.

  Rajnish had accompanied the still somewhat drunk man out of the hospital and, in a moment of kindness, decided he could not leave the stranger to his own devices for surely he’d end up under the wheels of a car next time. So, he’d accompanied him to a coffee shop across the hospital instead and they were now sitting over a cup of hot coffee; Rajnish awkwardly, Stephen slightly more sober.

  The two men, sitting in silence at first, made an interesting contrast. Stephen’s long blond hair and pale skin stood out all the more next to Rajnish’s darker skin and short black hair. To Rajnish’s eyes the man looked young, perhaps late twenties, but he did not dare ask. Whatever his age, the man easily matched Rajnish’s own height and build.

  It was Stephen who broke the silence first, a hand around the warm cup of coffee, the other coming up to rub his face.

  “Hey, umh, thanks for helping me back there,” his words were still slightly slurred, but he was at least able to get a coherent thought out. “I don’t think many would’ve done so.”

  “Please, it was the least I could do. You were lucky not to be hurt badly.”

  “I guess I was,” Stephen looked up from his drink; his blue eyes surveyed Rajnish with surprising intensity for a drunken man. “Very lucky.”

  Rajnish wriggled slightly in his seat. He felt as awkward as he looked, sitting there with a cup warming his hands. He had never been a very outgoing man, he wasn’t asocial, but he’d always had a hard time with forming bonds and relationships; perhaps that was why he’d been inwardly happy to be pushed into a marriage as tradition dictated, why it had never occurred to him to fight for some freedom to find someone he might actually love, or to examine his preferences at all. Well, that had sure worked out alright. Again he remembered this was supposed to be his birthday, and he was celebrating it by having coffee with a complete stranger whom he’d nearly run over.

  A sarcastic thought of ‘fantastic’ crossed his mind, and it had apparently gotten past his lips too, in his native tongue, for the man across from him tilted his head.

  “Sorry?”

  To Stephen, his ‘savior’ had turned out to be quite an interesting man, though undoubtedly Rajnish thought himself dull. There was something about that shyness the man was giving off that caught his attention, and something about his exotic looks that made Stephen want to follow him like a puppy.

  “Oh, it’s nothing.” Rajnish said, but the man gave him an encouraging look. With some hesitation he added “I was just thinking... ” he paused, but after a soft sigh said it. Surely he would feel better with that in the open. Hadn’t someone said once that it was easier to confess your pains to a complete stranger? After all, you may never have to see them again. “Nearly running over someone is just the perfect way to finish my birthday.”

  Stephen raised a brow and then chuckled. “Well, happy birthday– err... I’m not sure I caught your name.”

  “Rajnish. Rajnish Nayar.”

  “Happy birthday, Raj. I can call you that, can’t I?” Stephen took another sip of his coffee while he waited for the reply, though he didn’t really need one. He’d already decided that’s what he would call him. The coffee was doing wonders to get rid of his earlier inebriation. Well, the coffee and sitting still for a while.

  Rajnish nodded, again feeling awkward.

  “I’m Stephen Kouris,” the man said, deciding he might as well introduce himself properly; he couldn’t remember if he’d already told him his name anyhow.

  The addition of the surname surprised Rajnish, and the words burbled out of his lips before he could stop himself.

  “Like the author?” he asked his cheeks acquiring a slight pink hue as the words were uttered. He wasn’t used to openly discussing such subjects. No, he wasn’t used to discussing such subjects at all.

  Stephen allowed himself a crooked smile. As an author of adult themed novels, particularly of the gay type, he was not used to people outside his usual fan group admitting that they read his books, nor even acknowledging their existence. Or his.

  “Sooo, you’ve seen my work?”

  Rajnish looked away, taking an idle sip of his coffee and idly noticing it was the first he’d had, while his companion had practically finished his own drink by now. “Well... I’ve... seen it in passing... You seemed a rather prolific author.”

  “Right, in passing,” Stephen said
in amusement, motioning a waitress for a refill on his coffee. “I guess I am prolific.”

  Before he could say anything else (and possibly embarrass him further), Rajnish said “You seem to have sobered up surprisingly well.”

  “Strong coffee does wonders to my system,” Stephen said dismissively. “Tell me Raj, what’s a man like you doing all alone on his birthday? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating it?” then he frowned, suddenly feeling a little guilty. “Don’t tell me I screwed it up for you and your friends are waiting somewhere, wondering... ”

  “Not really,” Rajnish smiled, it was a small shy smile that made Stephen’s heart warm a little with joy. “I moved in just a couple weeks ago, so I haven’t really had time to meet that many people in the area.”

  “I see,” Stephen spared a quick look to the man’s ring finger; there was nothing there, but the lack of a ring did not necessarily mean he wasn’t married. “And your family?”

  “Spread about,” was the honest answer “My son is in college, my family back in India... ”

  “Your wife too?”

  Rajnish sighed, sadder at the fact of being alone than at actually missing his wife. “I’m divorced.”

  Stephen tried not to smile too openly, since his companion didn’t seem overly happy. “Ah! My friend, you’re alone, I’m alone, it’s your birthday, and we should be celebrating!”

  Raising his hands in a slightly defensive manner, Rajnish shook his head “I’m thinking you’ve had enough celebrating tonight.”

  Stephen laughed softly.

  “Nonsense! I mean– yes maybe I shouldn’t drink anymore, but we should still celebrate!”

  Getting to his feet, Stephen fished in a pocket for some money and pulled out several wrinkled bills and a few coins. Rajnish, in turn, had stood up and was reaching for his own wallet.

  “Allow me,” he tried.

  “No, no. It’s your birthday, and besides, you’ve already taken such good care of me, and I’m about to abuse the fact you have a car... it’s the least I can do.”

  Giving up on paying after a brief hesitation, Rajnish watched the other man walk up to the counter, exchange a few words, pay, and wait. He was starting to wonder what he was waiting for when he noticed a full cake was being put in a carry-on box and handed to the man. Smiling, Stephen made his way back to his newfound friend. He still seemed to be walking with a bit of an unsteady step, but the recovery from his earlier drunkenness had been surprising.

  “Your place or mine?”

  At Rajnish’s puzzled look, Stephen grinned.

  “Mine it is, then.”

  Without really knowing why he was going along with it, Rajnish had found himself driving Stephen to his place. It wasn’t too far from his own, and though he knew he had no reason to be, he was rather surprised that an author he’d read once, out of curiosity on the subject matter, lived that close. The truth was he’d rather enjoyed the book, just like he’d rather enjoyed the man’s company, despite the almost unfortunate manner of meeting him.

  Stephen too had enjoyed Rajnish’s company so far. The first time he’d laid eyes on him on the street he’d been too out of it to realize, but as he’d sobered up on the drive to the hospital and the wait after, he came to see that the shy man before him was actually rather... sweet; and of course, that he was a very beautiful man. Alright, so maybe he’d noticed the beautiful thing first.

  They had parked in front of a modern building and Stephen had led the way up to his third-floor apartment. The man had good taste in decoration, his choice of furniture modern and comfortable, but it was a little bland as far as colors, most the place seeming to focus in black and white.

  When invited, Rajnish had made himself a spot on the couch, feeling a little out of place. He didn’t dare look around openly, although he was rather curious at the amount of books he could see scattered about. While he took the time to ponder about his host’s reading tastes, Stephen took the time to freshen himself some then fetch some glasses and plates, bringing out everything to serve the cake, as well as some wine.

  They chatted idly while they ate, and that along with the wine and the cake helped Rajnish relax some, be a little more open. He was a bit less shy to speak about his arranged marriage, to say he did miss his son some now that he was off living his own life. And he was also less shy to ask questions.

  Stephen welcomed it with open arms when Rajnish inquired about his own life.

  “I don’t really have anyone,” Stephen had said, cheeks flushed from the wine. He’d not drank that much this time, but the addition to his earlier binge was not helping him recover fully.

  “Nah, don’t look sorry,” he smiled “I’ve been quite alright so far. That’s not to say I don’t want a real relationship someday... but I regret nothing.”

  Rajnish nodded, understanding that much.

  They drank and talked some more, but eventually Rajnish decided to call it a night. Despite Stephen’s offering that he stayed in given that he’d been drinking too, the man refused, too self-conscious to be overstaying his welcome at the house of someone he’d just met. Still, Stephen requested they exchanged phone numbers before Rajnish departed to head back home.

  ***

  Despite the late night spent at his new friend’s, Rajnish woke as early as he always did; he made use of the bathroom and had a quick shower, drank some coffee and headed out to work, same as he did every working day. He felt far more eased that morning; Stephen’s company had been a good soothing balm for his loneliness, not allowing him to brood about the matters that had so far bothered him. Even now, back at his workplace, his thoughts kept wandering to the evening before.

  The day passed in a pleasurable daze, even the regular work problems seemed to take no effect on his good mood. More than one worked remarked on it, if a bit shyly. They still didn’t know their boss well and tiptoed around him.

  But Rajnish’s good mood was only bound to improve that day, for as soon as he got back home he found a familiar youth sitting at his apartment’s doorstep. With the same type of olive skin and his father’s brown eyes, twenty years old Arun was waiting patiently, holding a small carry-on bag. He brightened at once at the sight of his father and quickly rose to greet him with a tight hug. Rajnish was only too glad to return the gesture.

  “Ah, I was hoping I’d be in time for your birthday, but the plane got delayed,” the boy said as he pulled back, smiling widely. Before his father could tell him off for not calling, which he was certain to do, he added “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “And you did,” Rajnish said happily, briefly holding his son at arm’s length. “Only a few months and you’re already much taller.”

  Arun chuckled, stepping aside when his father finally released him to open the door.

  “No way, I’m still the same height, maybe you’re just shorter.”

  The youth entered after his father, setting his carry-on aside and inviting himself to sit on the couch. “I’m only staying for the weekend,” he warned “I have to catch the 7am plane back on Monday, but I really wanted to see you and... I kind of wanted to talk something out with you, too.”

  Rajnish, who had followed him to the cozy living room, now paused briefly before finally setting his jacket down. “Oh? Is something wrong?”

  “Not at all!” Arun smiled warmly “Don’t worry, there are just some things I wanted to tell you about in person, a phone can be so... you know... impersonal I guess, sometimes. But it can wait; I want to hear all about your new job first, papa.”

  Rajnish eyed his son with playful distrust, but he figured it couldn’t be something too bad. He merely hoped his son would not suddenly say he wanted to drop out of college, that he was in troubles or something to that effect.

  “There’s really not a lot to say, Arun; work is work –most times busy, other times boring,” he headed to the kitchen and opened his fridge to see what he could make for dinner. “Did you have dinner yet?” at his son’s negative answer, he ended up choosing some TV dinners. He didn’t have enough fresh food to make something proper, nor time, as it was rather late. “I guess we’ll have to make do with frozen dinners tonight, I hope you don’t mind. Now, you were telling me you had troubles with the flight?”